September: Flexibility — Building a Resilient Mindset
Ah, September. The month of new backpacks, changing routines, and the slow but certain tilt toward autumn. It’s a natural time of transition — which makes it the perfect moment to practice flexibility.
Flexibility is one of those executive function skills that often hides in plain sight. It shows up in how we respond to curveballs, how we shift gears when plans change, and how we navigate the everyday chaos that comes with real life.
And let’s be honest — real life rarely sticks to the plan.
What Flexibility Really Means
When people hear the word "flexible," they often think of someone who rolls with the punches, lets things go, or adjusts on the fly without blinking.
But for many of us — especially those with ADHD or under-supported executive functioning — flexibility can feel like trying to turn a cargo ship. Slowly. With resistance. And maybe a few tears.
True flexibility is the ability to pivot without falling apart. It’s what helps us tolerate uncertainty, manage transitions, and cope when the world doesn't cooperate (which, let's face it, is often).
It’s not about being easygoing — it’s about having internal tools to adapt.
Why It’s Hard (Especially for Neurodivergent Brains)
Rigidity isn't a character flaw. It's often a stress response. When the brain is overloaded, tired, or under-supported, it craves certainty and control. Change feels like a threat, and without scaffolding, even small disruptions can lead to shutdowns or meltdowns.
This is just as true for adults as it is for kids.
If you or your child struggle with flexibility, it might show up as:
Big reactions to small schedule changes
Refusal to try new foods, clothes, routines
Anxiety when things are unpredictable
Fixating on doing things one right way
The good news? Flexibility is a skill that can be supported and strengthened — gently, over time.
Executive Function Practices for September
This month, focus on tiny experiments in building flexibility. Here are some ideas:
Reframe with language: When something doesn’t go as planned, try saying: “That’s different, not wrong.” This simple shift helps the brain move from defense to curiosity.
Debrief after changes: After a schedule shift or unexpected event, talk about what helped and what didn’t. You’re training the brain to reflect instead of react.
Play games that stretch flexibility: Improv games, silly storytelling, or card games that involve rule-switching can be fun ways to build cognitive flexibility.
Add a “Plan B” step to your plans: When you make a plan, ask: “What if this doesn’t work out — then what?” It builds in permission to adjust before the stress hits.
Practice changing it up on purpose: Take a new route home. Wear mismatched socks. Let your child pick dinner (even if it's weird). These little flexes build resilience in low-stakes ways.
Final Thoughts: Resilience in Motion
Flexibility doesn’t mean loving change. It means surviving it — sometimes even thriving through it.
When we practice flexibility, we’re not just learning how to pivot. We’re learning how to keep our identity and values intact even when the situation around us changes. That’s resilience in motion.
So this month, notice where you resist change — and try to soften the edges. Approach those moments with curiosity instead of control. Remember: flexibility isn’t a fixed trait. It’s a practice, and every small adjustment counts.
Coming Up Next:
October – Emotional Regulation: Tools for when the feelings are big (and messy).